NPR listeners were shocked last Saturday to hear Jacksonville Councialman and human punchline Don Redman mocked on the air by Car Talk hosts Tom and Ray. When Mr. Redman called in with a question about his 1987 Chevy Astrovan’s ignition system, he got much more than he bargained for.
“Well, the first thing I would do,” Tom explained “is remove all 6 spark plugs and then shuv them up your ass. Right up your ass.”
“Come on, Tom,” Ray chimed in, “Seriously, you will need a torque wrench. Take your torque wrench and de-torque all of your head bolts. De-torque them all right on down to zero pounds-feet each. Then take all of the head bolts and shuv them right up your ass.”
Then Tom was like “Seriously, that is so stupid and so totally wrong. Don’t do that, do this. Crank the engine. Run the engine at idle for like 5 – 10 minutes or until the engine is warmed up. While seated in the driver seat, test all interior accessories starting with the windshield wipers. Test the radio, test the air-conditioner. test the horn even. Keep the engine running this whole time. Test the turn signals, the headlights. Test the interior lights. Open the glove box and shut it. Then, kill the engine. Get out and get a hack saw. Saw off the termial 6 inches of the exhaust pipe. Use gloves as it will be extremely hot. Then shuv it up your ass. It will sound like tssssssssssssssssssssss.”
Then, out of nowhere, the Car Talk hosts just hung up on Mr. Redman and went over the answer to last week’s puzzler.