Mayor Curry Asks for Resignation of Entire Jacksonville Symphony Orchestra, Hires Riverbottom Nightmare Band as Replacement

In a move that is being hotly contested Jacksonville Mayor Lenny Curry has asked for letters of resignation from the entire Jacksonville Symphony Orchestra. The new mayor cited only “Oh come on yall” as his reasoning behind the terminations. Mayor Curry has hired the Riverbottom Nightmare Band as seen in Emmet Otter’s Jugband Christmas to replace the cultural institution. 

As the press conference dissolved, the Mayor remained at the podium speaking to no person in particular. He explained “I saw these guys [The Riverbottom Nightmare Band] at the Landing a couple years ago playing for Florida Georgia. They’re pretty sick. They’ve got a real kick-ass drummer. I think his name’s Mean Kermit or something. Seriously, yall are going to like them. All solid bros. You’ll see. 


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