Study Shows Kale Users at Increased Risk of Fart Attack

Mayor-Alvin-Brown---29418746Fitness and health food advocates were shocked this morning to learn that kale, the leafy green once believed to be a “super-food,” might be literally turning their bodies into ticking time bombs.

“I thought kale was going to be the one,” lamented health food enthusiast Gil Nesmith. While its long-term effects on the body are still unknown, for now we can be sure that what was once heralded as the next big thing has now been reduced to little more than this year’s musical fruit.

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