Monthly Archives: October 2013

Mayor Alvin Brown Buys $2,500 Cronut in London with Taxpayer Money

London, England

The cronut craze crossed the pond and Jacksonville’s own Mayor Alvin Brown was there to dip his nuts in it- his cronuts.

Mayor Alvin Brown pantomimed eating a cronut while addressing the Wesconnett Boulevard Rotary  Club last week.

Mayor Alvin Brown pantomimed eating a cronut while addressing the Wesconnett Boulevard Rotary Club last week.

Anyone who has visited New York City recently or who has watched TV shows like the Today Show, Good Morning Jacksonville, Good Eats or My Name is Earl has no doubt heard of cronuts, their extreme popularity and the extravagant price some are willing to pay for one.

When asked about his cronut experience Mayor Brown said: “It was alright, kind of like a fried twinky, but gayer, not really sure what all the hype is about. I’d definitely eat it again, though. It’s what guys like me do, you know rich, powerful guys like me, Shad Kahn, Boris Johnson, David Bekham, David Turtetta,  it’s what we do.

Alvin Brown's delegation poses with cronut boxes outside world famous crnout store in Central London.

Alvin Brown’s delegation poses with cronut boxes outside world famous cronut store in Central London.

When asked about the astronomical price he paid for the cronut, Brown responded that: “it is very important for me to get out and sell Jacksonville on the world stage, and if this means buying and eating a $2,500 cronut with city funds, so be it. It is what mayors do. It is not my money. Besides, I couldn’t access my money if I wanted to. It is mostly tied up in my secret pastor’s secret hedge fund. So, yeah, cronuts are fucking good. And you know, the only thing really better than a cronut is a cronut purchased with public funds. That’s all, no further questions. Go Jaguars.”