Is it true that Jacksonville Mayor Alvin Brown recently went to a park and practiced dunking on old ladies to boost his shriveled self esteem?
“Yes, it is true,” a witness reported (the lady in the picture with the blue shirt and white skirt).
“Except for no dunking,” she continued, “The Mayor actually posses a vertical leap capability of just 4″, so he was kind of just doing lay-ups in the old ladies’ faces and yelling a lot.”
“Then,” the nice lady recalled, “Mayor Brown started shrieking at the top of his lungs, like a frightened woman, and he was shouting in peoples’ faces.”
“He kept going ‘And one!, And one, bitch! Count it ya old bitch! And one!”
Eventually all the old people wandered off to take their medicine and the mayor was all by himself and really sweaty. It was hard to tell if he had sweated all through the front of his pants or if had possibly pissed in his pants in all the excitement. After a couple minutes of solo balling, the tall cop lady who always follows the mayor around came over and whispered something into the mayor’s ear. Then they just disappeared into thin air.