Mayor Brown and Navy Ink Last-Minute Deal Reinstating DADT in Jacksonville

Mayor Alvin Brown Signs Agreement with United States Navy Reinstating "Don't Ask Don't Tell" for All Naval Operations within Jacksonville City Limits

Mayor Alvin Brown Signs Agreement with United States Navy Reinstating “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” for All Naval Operations within Jacksonville City Limits

Naval Station Mayport, FL-

It came down to the 11th hour, but the U.S. Navy was finally able to come up with a deal to keep gay-hating Mayor Alvin Brown from kicking them all out of Jacksonville. In an unprecedented move, the mayor took his crusade against homosexuals to the next level by asking the Navy to leave town unless they conform to the city’s policies on treatment toward queers.

Mayor Brown explains the subtle nuances of DADT to 2 recently re-closeted seamen.

Mayor Brown explains the subtle nuances of DADT to 2 recently re-closeted seamen.

Rear Admiral Seth T. Nelson had the following to say: “I have never in all my 34 years of seamanship seen any land-mayor push back so hard against any navy. This guy [Brown] fucking hates gays: gay guys, lesbians, DL thugs, trannies, queens, queers, closet gays, circlejerkers, merchant marines, thespians- you name it. If you aint First Baptist Church straight, you better believe you’re on his list.”

Mayor Alvin Brown scolds would-be homosexuals.

Mayor Alvin Brown scolds would-be homosexuals.

A spokesperson from Brown’s office defended the policy change, saying “We are merely rolling the policy back to pre-2011 standards. “Don’t ask, don’t tell” served the nation perfectly well from 1993 – 2011. Now, the Hollywood Glitterati and the U.S. Navy are going to try to tell you a sad story about how DADT is unfair and an affront to “human rights” or “human decency,” but I assure you these are ravings of leftist mad man; gay, gay leftist, flag-burning mad men.”

Mayor Brown could not be reached for comment, but his pastor stated that while job creation is important for the city, we are not trying to increase the number of rim-jobs and blow-jobs.

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