Proponents of public transportation are applauding a recent proposal by Mayor Alvin Brown to expand Jacksonville’s pathetic Skyway Express. While the proposal will not expand Skyway routes, it will implement additional trains to accommodate the varying needs of Christian and LGBTQA commuters.
Mayor Brown Proposes Skyway Expansion to Feature Separate Trains for Gays and Straights
According to Tyrell Pharsons the mayor’s secret pastor, the old Skyway cars will be given rainbow paintjobs and be for gay riders only. Then new cars will be added with goose down cushions “fit only for god-fearing asses.” And the new Christian-only trains will be painted gold with gold trim.
Representatives of the local trainblog Metrojacksonville are calling the proposal a “bold new step in the right direction.”
While unorthodox, Mayor Brown’s monorail segregation scheme is being lauded by local LGBTQA rights activists as a marked departure from the mayor’s previous position on LGBTQA rights, which caused him to conspire with First Baptist Church to actively seek the total elimination of all rights for gays. Brown explained “the facilities will be separate but equal, thus empowering the queers to enjoy the train of their choice.