Monthly Archives: November 2012

We Blow

Watch this gif and keep watching it until you start to have a minor rage stroke like I did laying in bed last night before I turned off this piece of poop at the end of the 3rd quarter.

It’s alright. I get it. Andrew Luck is good. Blaine Gabbert sucks. The difference between a #1 pick and a #5 pick is just that big. Or, other teams are just luckier in drafting. I get it.

They have a qb who can score 2 TDs running. They have a qb who can tackle dudes. We have the worst team in Jacksonville Jaguars history.

That’s like having the shittiest Dodge Neon on the westside. Or any other stupid metaphor your brain can make.

It’s like having the shittiest metaphor in a Jacksonville blog.

I just get so sick of listening to the NFL network dildos talk about how they think the Jaguars might have had a few bad drafts over the last 5 years. Fuck you motherfuckers. Don’t you come on our fucking TVs and tell us about bad drafts. Just don’t fucking talk about the Jaguars at all during your telecast.

The bulk of the game they didn’t talk about the Jaguars, like at all literally. For the purpose of their broadcast, the Jaguars serve as nameless, faceless bad-guys for the Colts to triumph over. We’re like the foot clan or storm troopers in the narrative.

And the stupid new uniforms only enforce this. We don’t even have teal anymore. The Jaguars are the generic highlight reel tackling dummies for the rest of the league. But, I’m ok with this. I prefer the NFL Network dildos not even mention the Jaguars by name than go into the “gee, Maycok, I sure do think the Jags could have drafted better.”

Fuck you Maycok. Suckit, maycok.

Suck it Jaguars Suck it Maurice Jones Drew Suck it Mike Mularkey Suck it Shad Khan Suck it Blaine Gabbert Suck it Terrence Knighton

Naw I can’t stay mad at Potroast. I think Potroast’s “high hit” on Luck might have been the high point of the game for me, in spite of the fact that it reversed the Jags interception and pretty much deflated that brief spark of momentum.

Ahh fuck it

I forreal am only consuming Jaguars football going forward live at the stadium and via Brian Sexton, the voice of the Jaguars radio calls.

Peace

Tagged , , ,