Bean and Weinstein Attend Chick-Fil-A Kiss-In to Support Gay Rights

Weinbean Unit 1

Weinbean Unit 2

Jacksonville, FL

Today marks a new era for political campaigning in Jacksonville. For a brief moment, the two top contenders for the Florida State Senate’s District 4 laid down their arms and came together to send a message of peace to the forces of hatred. Even though both Aaron Bean and Mike Weinstein are campaigning hard to win the votes of Jacksonville’s conservatives, the two “just had to stand up today for what is right and for what makes America great,” Bean said outside of the Roosevelt Blvd Chick-Fil-A this afternoon holding hands with Mike Weinstein.

The pair then proceeded to pull slowly towards one another into a very forced looking embrace. As they stood in front of the gathering crowd, staring into each other’s eyes, their stiff demeanor began to melt and Bean laid his head on Weinstein’s shoulder. As a car in the parking lot rolled down it’s window and turned up the volume on it’s stereo, which was playing Por ti volare, Weinstein raised his hand to stroke the back of Bean’s neck.

Aaron Bean raised his head from his opponent’s shoulder. The two men locked eyes in a purposeful gaze. It was hard to tell what was going to happen. Was this all a stunt being callously performed for campaign publicity? Were these men so devoted to the ideals of equality that they could overcome their heterosexual revulsion to kissing another man just to send a message to the evil Chick-Fil-A corporation? Or had these two pasty old white conservative southern men truly fallen in love for just one moment in time on this steamy August afternoon in Jacksonville, Florida, USA?

Their eyes closed.

Their lips locked together.

The crowd cheered.

Andrea Bocelli.

Bean kicked up his leg behind him.

When it was over, the crowd started to disburse. A small boy stepped up in front of the two men and asked: “Does this mean you’ll stop the robocalls and innane TV commercials? My daddy gets so mad at TV.”

“I wouldn’t count on, son.”

“I sure wouldn’t count on it.”

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2 thoughts on “Bean and Weinstein Attend Chick-Fil-A Kiss-In to Support Gay Rights

  1. Mr. Dick no dick parts says:

    i truly believe that these two duds would smash their dicks and balls of of their bodies for ever end ever and pee their pants with a waterfall trickle down their legs for the rest of their lifes before they did this… I bet we could get this substantiated from their campaigns… that is truly sick…

  2. Jhonz says:

    Jerk -you’re fucking hilarious, dude. I just shit my pee.

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