Jacksonville Man Feigns Shock at News of Found Body

“No! Now, that’s just horrible, unconscionable,” local resident Paul Jackson exclaimed upon seeing this morning’s Florida Times Union headline which proclaimed the JSO had found a body in a shallow grave last night.

“I am beyond shocked and mortified,” Jackson continued, clearly feigning outrage loudly, hoping someone would overhear.

“I mean, it’s not at all shocking or surprising really, I just kind of want to talk to someone about things not being what they used to be and everything just going down the tubes,” Jackson clarified.

A representative of back in the day could not be reached to corroborate Jackson’s claims.

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