Mayor Brown First Year Reflections

Jacksonville Mayor Alvin Brown just wrapped up his first year in office. We’re taking it to our man on the street crew to gauge public opinion.

“Excuse me sir or ma’m, what is your message to Mayor Brown on his 1-year anniversary?”

“There is a snake in my pool and I am afraid to go in there.”

Comedy Driving School Instructor

“Mayor Who? Ricky the Kid is the mayor of Marietta where I live at. He’s got a Firebird with nitrous.”


“Can the people who show the movies in that one park please play a Charles in Charge marathon. Just a thought.”

Fondue Chef

“If there is toll roads I will move. To Canada.”


“What if Rick Scott sends all the federal money back to Obama cuz he’s mad and all of our kids’ teeth rot out and everyone in Jacksonville develops a nervous tic. Jacksonville already has the highest infant mortality rate in the state, which is one of the highest states in the US, which is one of the highest worldwide among industrialized democracies. And if the kids do survive, their teeth are going to look like shit.”


“The fireworks better be good this year. I’m just saying, that’s all. They better be good. ”

Cash-4-Gold Sign Holder

“Every Winn-Dixie, excepting the ghetto-ass one downtown that no one goes to, needs to open another check out line. I need this preg test for my g.f. to peeee on. Why WHY?!”

Legendary Ball Player

“The dock at the zoo needs its own food court and some fraggin animal previews so I can just buzz it so my wiener kids will stop crying and my wife can keep her sea tits out.”

Mr. Tomorrow
Dog Track Ticket Trashcan Double Checker

“Don’t blame me. I voted for Steve Irvine!”


“Nowadays everybody wanna talk like they got something to say, but nothing comes out when they move their lips. Just a bunch of gibberish. Motherfuckers act like they forgot about Alvin.”

Councilwoman, At Large, Group 1

“What can brown do for me? He can fix the gay problem for one.”

Navy frogman

“I was at a Halloween party last October when Mayor Brown showed up in a horse costume. That was a great costume!”

Village Idiot at St. John’s Town Center

“I don’t like to spread rumors, but I hear that Mayor Brown constantly poops his pants. Source: wikipedia”


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One thought on “Mayor Brown First Year Reflections

  1. NARC MAN says:

    Fuck you lil dick dog sucker. u cant talk bout marietta on the internet. take it down or a ill pt my dog on you

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