Friends, Colleagues and constituents of Jacksonville Tax Collector Mike Corrigan were stunned yesterday when a sinkhole caused by tropical Storm Debby-related flooding collapsed the street in front of his house revealing what one witness described as an “H.P. Lovecraft-style dimensional rift between our world and the realm of the old ones.”
Fortunately for Avondale residents, the indescribable, unfathomable and completely incalculable horror residing beneath the front yard of the beloved public official was quickly contained by JFRD.
Fire department spokesman Fred B. reported “Meth lab on fire, Ford Pinto on fire, scary box in Hemming Park, 5-Points eatery blazes, or subterranean lairs of unimaginable ancient terrors like Cthulhus and shit; you know it’s all the same to us. We’re just doing our job.”
Mr. Corrigan could not be reached for comment.