Mayor Forgets to Tie Shoes, Falls Down

Reenactment

Reenactment

 In what can only be described as cruel cruel fate, Jacksonville Mayor Alvin Brown found himself in a fight for his life this morning. As he strode confidently toward the front door of city hall, readying his finger guns for a brief exchange with the front door security officer, Mayor Brown’s left black dress shoe became temporarily, yet tragically, entangled with the loose lace of his right black dress shoe. In the blink of an eye, the mayor tumbled.

“He caught himself before he cracked his skull or anything like that and he jumped up quick and laughed it off,” reports eyewitness Trey of Gus’ shoe repair. “I felt bad, but, you know, it was kind of funny, Trey continues, “It’s pretty funny anytime somebody falls down, unless it’s an old person.”

It is estimated that nearly 8,000 slip-and-falls occur in downtown Jacksonville each year, half of which are fatal. Despite this alarming number of slip-and-falls, only around 40 are reported. Perhaps shame or stigma causes people to not report. 

WHAT CAN YOU DO?

If you see someone who has fallen down, call for help. Tell and adult or police officer. Tell a Downtown Ambassador. Do not point and laugh and be a jerk. Together, we can make Downtown Jacksonville safe for everyone. And remember, if it can happen to the Mayor, it can happen to you.

Jacksonville Jerk analysts speculate Morgan and Morgan have not been contacted by the Mayor or his staff, but Morgan nor Morgan could be reached for comment.

Jacksonville Jerk analysts speculate Morgan and Morgan have not been contacted by the Mayor or his staff, but Morgan nor Morgan could be reached for comment.

Enjoy this helpful info-graphic. I hired local art firm Doozey and Hutch, LLC, to design it for this article and as a community service.

Knowledge
Knowledge | Now You Know
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